Seven Questions Parents Can Ask to Encourage Stronger, More Resilient Kids

Parents who hope to learn more about their children’s daily experiences often begin with the familiar inquiry, “How was school today?” According to psychotherapist and Northeastern University instructor Amy Morin, that approach rarely sparks conversation and typically results in a one-word reply. Morin, author of “13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do,” recommends a different strategy: targeted questions that prompt reflection, strengthen emotional skills and build a growth mindset.

Morin outlines seven questions designed to move beyond routine exchanges and foster skills such as optimism, empathy and problem-solving. Each question serves a specific developmental purpose and can be used regularly at home, in transit or during family mealtimes.

1. What was the best part of your day?

This question invites children to scan for positive moments, reinforcing gratitude and a hopeful outlook. Morin notes that identifying a highlight, even a small one such as playing a game at recess, trains the brain to recognize favorable experiences. Psychologists widely regard gratitude as a protective factor for mental health, a point supported by research summarized by the American Psychological Association.

2. What’s a mistake you learned from today?

By normalizing errors, parents can reduce shame and promote healthy risk-taking. Framing the query with genuine curiosity—rather than criticism—helps children view mistakes as learning opportunities. A common example might involve forgetting a book and planning ahead to avoid repeating the oversight.

3. Who were you proud of today?

Focusing on another person’s achievement or resilience shifts attention outward and cultivates empathy. The answer offers parents insight into peer relationships and classroom dynamics. A child might mention a classmate who persevered through a difficult assignment or recognize their own act of sharing supplies.

4. What’s one thing that would have made today better?

This prompt encourages children to acknowledge frustration without dwelling on it. Exploring an improvement—such as wishing for more time on an art project—naturally leads to problem-solving and future planning. The question also teaches that circumstances are changeable, reinforcing a sense of agency.

7. What’s something new you’d like to try?

Encouraging experimentation helps children step outside their comfort zones. Framing a new activity—whether a club, sport or artistic pursuit—as a trial rather than a commitment can reduce anxiety and open the door to new interests. The process supports the development of courage and adaptability.

Morin explains that deliberate questioning does more than fill the silence in a car ride home. It nurtures emotional awareness, strengthens coping mechanisms and promotes resilience—capacities she identifies as essential for both academic success and long-term well-being. While no single conversation guarantees immediate results, consistent use of these prompts helps children practice articulating feelings and analyzing experiences, laying groundwork for mental strength.

Parents in Morin’s clinical practice often report that children become more communicative after a few days of targeted questions. The approach also provides adults with clearer insight into peer dynamics, classroom challenges and early signs of stress that might otherwise go unnoticed.

Morin’s guidance aligns with broader recommendations in child psychology, which emphasize open-ended inquiries and active listening as tools for healthy development. By moving beyond a generic “How was school?” and adopting questions with specific objectives, families can transform routine check-ins into meaningful conversations that support emotional growth.