Slow and Steady: Law Professor’s Essay Underscores Power of Incremental Personal Growth

A decade after leaving high school, Indian legal scholar Kalyani Abhyankar has concluded that adulthood rarely arrives with a single, cinematic breakthrough. In an essay released on the self-development website Tiny Buddha, the 28-year-old assistant professor of law at Christ University describes how small, repetitive decisions—not dramatic revelations—reshaped her confidence, relationships and day-to-day routines.

Abhyankar contrasts her current life with the anxieties that dominated her at 18. The younger version of herself, she writes, expected maturity to appear suddenly, perhaps triggered by a mentor’s advice or a personal crisis. Instead, she discovered that growth emerged through a series of uneventful “Tuesdays” during which she answered long-avoided e-mails, made her bed, and occasionally chose a healthier lunch. No audience applauded, yet the quiet consistency produced lasting change.

The law professor’s narrative begins with a pop-culture reference: a line from the animated series BoJack Horseman—“Every day it gets a little easier, but you have to do it every day.” The quotation frames her central point that persistence, rather than inspiration, drives emotional progress. While Abhyankar acknowledges she still overanalyzes situations, she now meets that tendency with patience rather than self-criticism.

From Avoidance to Small Acts of Agency

At 18, Abhyankar says she routinely agreed to requests because refusing felt risky, researched confidence-building tips online without implementing them, and sought comfort in her smartphone. Crying in washrooms felt normal, while asserting boundaries seemed impossible. The transformation began almost imperceptibly. She stopped apologizing to waitstaff for her food orders, proving to herself that preference did not require an apology. She also ventured to movie theaters alone, an outing she once regarded as socially isolating but ultimately found liberating—there were no negotiations over film choice or popcorn.

The author’s first solo trip, a weekend journey by train, exemplified her evolving courage. She boarded convinced she had made a mistake, only to return with what she describes as a newly settled inner calm. That experience, though brief, reinforced her ability to navigate unfamiliar environments without external validation.

Abhyankar also reports learning to tolerate silence, both literal and social. She practiced sitting in a room without background noise and accepted that certain friendships were temporary rather than permanent failures. Gradually, she recognized that her presence and opinions were entitled to space, a realization she labels “revolutionary” for someone conditioned to minimize impact.

Therapy, Boundaries and the Ongoing Nature of Growth

The piece emphasizes therapy sessions she nearly canceled, boundaries she initially expressed awkwardly, and mornings that followed discouraging evenings. Collectively, these experiences illustrated that self-improvement resembles maintenance work: repetitive, sometimes tedious and largely invisible to outsiders.

According to the American Psychological Association, sustained behavioral change relies on consistent practice reinforced over time—a principle echoed throughout Abhyankar’s reflections. Her description of “showing up” mirrors clinical recommendations that incremental goals often outperform sweeping resolutions when addressing anxiety or low self-esteem.

A Message to Her Younger Self

Addressing her 18-year-old counterpart directly, Abhyankar assures that “being okay” is not a vague promise but an earned reality. She predicts that her younger self will not awaken suddenly free of insecurities, yet will eventually notice that past triggers carry diminished power. Overthinking persists, she concedes, but now feels more like a harmless habit than a paralyzing defect.

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She likewise admits continued uncertainty about long-term direction, yet has reached a tentative peace with ambiguity. The outcome, she writes, is “a life worth living,” even though it lacks the dramatic narrative arc she once sought. The implicit conclusion: ordinary persistence satisfies more reliably than waiting for a transformative plot twist.

Professional Context and Author Background

Abhyankar’s perspective is informed by six years of teaching law, a profession she believes shares storytelling duties with writing. Both disciplines, she notes, aim to convey truth, whether in a courtroom or on a page. While the essay centers on personal growth, her academic credentials lend additional weight to her observations about self-advocacy and boundary setting.

Christ University, where she serves as assistant professor, enrolls thousands of students annually and is recognized for its legal studies programs in Bengaluru, India. Balancing classroom responsibilities with writing, Abhyankar positions herself as both educator and ongoing learner, underscoring that authority and vulnerability can coexist.

Relevance for Wider Audiences

The author’s account resonates with readers seeking gradual strategies to manage anxiety, cultivate autonomy and accept imperfection. Mental-health professionals frequently caution against expecting sudden breakthroughs, noting that such expectations may discourage people when quick results do not materialize. Abhyankar’s testimony aligns with that guidance by depicting success as repetition rather than revelation.

Her experience also highlights the social dimension of personal development. By re-evaluating friendships and recognizing their seasonal nature, she normalizes the evolution of social networks over time. This perspective may offer reassurance to individuals who interpret the end of particular relationships as personal failure.

Key Takeaways

• Growth often unfolds through mundane routines rather than pivotal events.
• Consistency—making beds, answering e-mails, attending therapy—is more influential than single moments of insight.
• Learning to occupy physical and conversational space can transform self-image.
• Friendships may be temporary without reflecting personal inadequacy.
• Accepting uncertainty and ongoing imperfection is part of mature self-regard.

By chronicling the incremental steps that carried her from anxious teenager to more self-assured adult, Kalyani Abhyankar offers a real-world case study in slow personal growth. Her narrative suggests that ordinary Tuesdays, repeated over years, can accomplish what singular turning points often promise but fail to deliver.